18

 Right now we're 18 weeks into our pregnancy.  The baby is the size of a mango!! (about 6 inches long and half a pound!)  You can definitely see that it's getting bigger by my bump!

This week there were some definite joys and issues.  The first was the amazing joy of feeling our baby move!  Baby us was pretty active this week.  I first felt it after a huge sneeze.  He or she started kicking like crazy as if to say, "Hey, Mama, I don't like that!!"  Then again in yoga class and one night while watching a documentary on climate change.  The movie was making me so sad, seeing how global warming is affecting polar bears and their babies.  That's when our little baby starting moving around.  I took this as proof that baby us is as passionate about environmental issues as we are :)  Already upset about climate change and not even born yet?!- I can't wait to see the amazing ways our child is going to change the world!!

The biggest negative this week is pictured below.  Pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome.

See how nasty and swollen my hand/arm is?!  UGGH!  My plan for this weekend was to finish my last two papers for my class.  This is the LAST CLASS for my Education Specialist degree.  Unfortunately this craziness started Thursday.  It probably didn't help that I lifted weights in my workout and then went to yoga that night. This picture was taken yesterday.  This was after 2 nights of barely sleeping from being so uncomfortable.  I never took carpal tunnel seriously, but this mess hurts!!!  My hand and arm throbbed for two days straight!  It was worse at night and in the morning (something about the blood flow makes this the case). After resting, icing, heating, and elevating for two days I'm finally able to type this in short spurts throughout the day.  (And cook, brush my teeth well, dress myself, open doors, and all the other junk I couldn't really do for two days).  I'm glad it's easing off, but I read in my baby books and on the Mayo clinic site that this will be ongoing until after the baby is born.  So the work I was hoping to finish up in a few days is now going to have to be spread out over the course of quite a few days.  C'est la vie.

I suppose the biggest thing for me this week (and most weeks) is determining God's lessons for me through pregnancy.  I get so frustrated at times because I feel like I'm supposed to say that pregnancy is beautiful and I love every minute of it (like most women I know do) or frustrated that I can't do the normal everyday things I did before (like, I dunno, wear my jeans, have the energy to work 2 jobs, keep the house clean and get in a good 3 mile run, or sleep without a throbbing swollen ugly hand).  The truth... is pregnancy kinda sucks.  Why doesn't anyone tell you that?

But, enough whining and back to the point.  God's lessons.  I know that Hebrews 12:11 tells us, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  I know that God is using every little bit of this 9-10 months to prepare me for the most important job there is.  I know that, and I am grateful for the honor. So, I'm trying to find the purpose in each frustration.  And, I'm working on thanking God for the discipline!

17

There are two reminders we keep on our bathroom mirror. They are basically the sum of the reason our marriage works.

 The first reminder says, "Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful." 1 Corinthians 4:2 I found this verse in college and it has basically been my life mantra. I really try not to take the Lord's gifts for granted. I knew having the opportunity to go to college was a true gift from God. He had entrusted me with an opportunity that very few in my family had ever had, and I was determined to prove faithful and to value that gift with everything. I feel the same way about being eco. That the Lord entrusted us with this planet, so we are to prove faithful to it. That's why being green, to me, means being a good steward and Christian. The same is true of my students in my class, my educational opportunities, and most certainly, my marriage. I know what an incredible blessing it is to have a good marriage. I also know that the Lord has entrusted me with the happiness and love of an extraordinary person. I keep that verse up to remind myself every day that God gave me this man to love and cherish, and that He expects me to prove faithful to such a responsibility. That's how I feel about having a baby too. I know how incredibly difficult it is for some women to have children. I know that some never do. I also know that God would not have entrusted me with this (future President, next Billy Graham, missionary, curer of cancer) if He didn't expect me to prove faithful to the honor of having it.

 The other reminder on our mirror is pretty much the reason I'm not losing my mind being pregnant. It says, "Words are important. Words are important. Words are important." John put those words up for himself. Shortly after our first year of marriage we read the 5 Love Languages. We never could figure out what John's love language is (either I'm doing an awesome job and he's never felt unloved, or he's an incredibly secure and happy person ALL the time. Could be a little of both ;). ) My love language is apparently words of affirmation. As pathetic and shallow as it may sound, it turns out I need to hear that I'm great to believe it. That is especially true now. Mostly these days I'm tired and unproductive, and still freaking out over the rapid growth of my stomach. Luckily, the hubz realizes that I just need someone to tell me it's all okay and I'm still pretty and a good wife, teacher, friend, student, etc. And when he does I feel at peace again. I'm not sure if it's what he says, or more so that someone like him thinks these things about someone like me that really does the trick. Either way, it totally works for us. 

Sometimes when I start getting all freaked out about how having a baby is going to change our lives so drastically, I think about these reminders and how it just seems that they can be true in any situation we encounter. I suppose we'll find a system with "baby us" that works for us too. We'll figure out how to all take care of each other.

Sweet 16

Sorry I skipped last week, but between Easter, nothing blog-worthy to talk about and my belly pics (in my Easter dress!) getting deleted, I just decided to wait for this week.

So this week we had another OB appointment. It was kinda lame. We got to hear the heartbeat, but I was really hoping to see our little cutie (who is the size of an avacado) again. Also, the midwife always wants to talk about what's troubling me. It feels much like therapy. This week we discussed the panic I sometimes get into when thinking about being a stay-home mom. Not that I don't want to be there for my child, and I know it's the best thing to have that kind of consistency in such a non-consistent life like the military, but I've been working non-stop since I was 13. Working only one job feels foreign. It's my hobby, and passion, will being a wife and mother be enough for me? Or will I be a grouchy pants everyday? These are my worries.

Hubz doesn't seem to have any worries. He's cool as a cucumber. He says he'll probably start freaking out as we're driving to the hospital :)

Baby wise, everything still looks great. No issues this week, and I'm feeling good! I even gained another pound!



Oh yeah, this is all 123 lbs. of baby incubator right here!!

I know what you are thinking, "Wow! Jess really stepped up the game on the photos this week!", but really it's all the Hubberoosky. He's gotten super into photoshop lately and taking HDR photos (I can't totally explain what this is). He's got some really amazing shots!

After the appointment in Santa Cruz we had a little date night in town and on our way home we stopped in this strawberry patch for some pics. It's pretty handy having an awesome photographer at my disposal ;)

3.5 months!

Yup, that's right, we're at 14 weeks. Geez! The whole first trimester I felt like this pregnancy deal is taking FOREVER! I just want to meet our teeny tiny little baby!! But now I'm thinking, holy cow! 14 weeks already?! I'm sure this is probably one of those things that changes back and forth.

This week I did gain a pound. Yaay! I could tell because this is the week that my pants stopped buttoning. (not a yaay). It makes sense though, because baby us is now the size of a navel orange!! I didn't quite realize how big that was until we got our CSA box this week and had some navel oranges in them.

No wonder my pants won't button!

Let's see...the good and bad of this week. Definitely the worst part of this week was Tuesday. I blacked out at work. Never a good thing. My doctor said I've been doing too much, although I credit the episode more to blood sugar. However, it was a pretty hectic day and I had been pushing myself in workouts the two days before. Anyway, it was quite a wake up call! I quit my behavioral therapist job, so now I'm just working one job (and just a two-hour tutoring deal on the side) and I'm only taking one class for my doctorate this quarter. Hopefully this cut-back and adding some more protein to my diet will prevent that from happening again. YIKES!

The good, or best part of this week was that my hubz came home from his trip to the Grand Canyon! I'm sure most women feel this way, but I I just don't function the same without him here. Life is well...dull without him. I'm sure this is partially because I'm so insanely in love with him, but part of it is well, frankly, I have an awesome husband! I've included a short video of him here to demonstrate just how lovable he is ;)



Hahaha! Isn't he silly?!
We went to play racquetball today, which I'll admit is a bit more challenging for me these days as I really can't jump or reach far for the ball. I'm not supposed to twist my torso and I'm really slow when it comes to running after the ball. This video is Hubber's depiction of my pregnant racquetball skills. *eyeroll* He cracks me right up! :D